Suggestions for engaging the nanny

[Angie G]

I just hired a teen-aged nanny to pick up my kids after school and care for them in our home.  So far, every time I ask the kids (ages 9 and 10) how the afternoon went, (after giving me the ususal "fine") they admit that there was little if any interaction with the nanny other than the requisite homework.  I realize that they are somewhat independent and don't need constant interaction with the sitter, but does anyone have any suggestions on how to encourage the nanny to engage the kids more often?  I don't want to seem overly critical, but at the same time...she does work for me, right?  I'm new at this and I don't want to scare her away!  She wasn't easy to find!

[mom2lulu]

I would put your expectations in writing, even if they are three simple things. Each day, I'd like you to do this (what do your kids like to do? what would you do with them if you were home? are there a couple of things she could do with them that won't totally overwhelm her?)

Then I'd ask her to write a little note each day or fill out a short form on what the kids did (similar to the little forms on what daycare providers or nannies do with preschool kids: what they ate, naps, mood, etc....except you'd tailor it to the things you want your kids doing.)

I'm a big fan of putting things in writing ... and maybe this gives her some practice for the "real world."

[Angie G]

Wonderful advice! Thank you!

[westomom]

Good advice! We had a college girl nanny our daughter when she was a baby until age 2. Since she was a baby, we really couldn't expect a lot of "activity" but I had a form or sort of checklist that she had to fill out with feeding and diapering times and any naps. Also any funny things she did or activities she enjoyed. It made me feel better that her needs were being met and that my money wasn't going to waste.

You are her employer, so she shouldn't be put off when you voice your expectations.

Good luck! Great topic!

[nannylala]

if this is the first job for your nanny she may not know what is expected of her. as mom2lulu sad, writing or even just sitting down with her so she knows what you want is helpfull. the more info you give her about what your kids like the easier it will be for her to feel comfortable to engage the kids. it seems harder to "make friends" with older kids cause you don't know how much independance they are used to and don't want them to think you don't trust them, but the flip side of that is that if you leave them alone too long and they think you don't like them, so it can be hard for a nanny to know what to do and when. also, if you haven't already, think about discipline, if your child does something wrong how you would want her to handle it. so many people have different ways of handleing things. it is better to talk and be on the same page before you run into problems.

[thepeach80]

Just talk to her. At that age (your kids', not the nanny's) I probably wouldn't think to engage them either. I don't engage my kids normally, they do quite well on their own but they're younger.

[momaha mama]

Let us know how this turns out please.

It's so hard to put our faith in someone else to watch our kids, right?

I would hope she'd be completely responsive to your requests.

[AntBre]

I was a nanny for many years and every family is different what expect from there caregiver.  You will need to tell her what your expectations are and find out if she is even willing to do them. You may have to pop home unexpected to keep her on her toes.  good luck